Parent's 50th Anniversary

।।श्री।।

१ मार्च २०१५

"जूनं ते सोनं" ह्या विचारांपासून आता आपण "क्विकर (QUIKR)" किंवा "OLX" च्या जगात, जेथे "जूनं ते विकणं" ह्या संस्कृतीपर्यंत पोहोचलो आहोत. तर अशा ह्या जगात ५० वर्षांचे सहजीवन म्हणजे खचितच कौतुकास्पद व समारंभास पात्र आहे.

१६ फेब्रुवारी १९६५ - ह्या दिवशी कुर्ल्यातील ब्राह्मण सेवा संघाच्या मंगल कार्यालयात आंजर्ल्यातील एक तरुणी व साखरप्याहून, पोटातील भूकेने मुंबई गाठलेला एक तरुण यांचे शुभमंगल झाले. त्या दिवसाला आता ५० वर्षे होऊन गेली आिण तोच सोहळा साजरा करायला आपण सारे आप्तेष्ट आज जमलो आहोत. तुमच्या आजच्या उपस्थितीबद्दल तुमचे मन:पूर्वक आभार !!

अक्षता पडल्यावर घुमणारा "सावधान" चा गजर, खरोखरच पुढच्या काळातील येणा-या खडतरतेचा सूचक होता, हे कदाचित त्यावेळी, त्या जोडप्यास ठाऊक नव्हते.

संसाराची सुरुवात करण्यासाठी अन्न, वस्त्र व निवारा या मूलभूत गरजा. पण ह्या तीनही आघाड्यांवर ह्या नवपरिणीतांची बोंबच होती. ह्यांच्या संसाराची सुरुवात शेळ्या बांधण्याच्या गोठ्यापासून झाली. उंच्यापु-या नवरदेवाला शर्ट घालताना हात लांब करण्या इतपतही घराची लांबी, रुंदी व उंची नसल्यामुळे, घराबाहेर येऊनच त्याला शर्ट घालावा लागत असे. स्वयंपाकाची भांडी दोरीवर झुलणा-या एका फळकुटावर विराजमान होती. लवकरच ते, मोठ्या जागेत म्हणजे १०० स्क्वेअर फुटाच्या चाळीतील घरात रहावयास गेले. तुमच्यापैकी जवळ जवळ सर्वच त्या घराचे साक्षीदार आहात.

दिवस हळूहळू सरत होते. परंतु १९८२ चा गिरणी संपाचा काळ आठवला की आजही अंगावर काटा येतो. घरची परिस्थिती कायमच यथातथा, गाठीशी बचत शून्य, खाणारी तोंडं चार, त्यातील दोन मुले खाजगी शाळेत शिकणारी, घरासाठी घेतलेल्या लोनच्या हप्त्याचा तगादा आणि सहा महिन्यांपर्यंत घरात पैशाची आवक शून्य. पण ह्या सर्वाची झळ आई-दादांनी आमच्यापर्यंत पोहोचू दिली नाही. आम्ही एकही दिवस उपाशी झोपलो

नाही किंवा एकही महिना शाळेची फी चुकविली नाही. खरच, कसं निभावून नेलं असेल त्या काळात आमच्या आई-दादांनी, हे त्यांचं त्यांनाच ठाऊक.

एक प्रसंग मात्र आमच्या मनात कायमचं घर करुन गेला, तो म्हणजे घराचे हप्ते फेडण्यासाठी आईने तिचा, एकदाही न वापरलेला सोन्याचा हार दादांच्या हाती, त्यांच्या इच्छेविरुद्ध विकण्यासाठी सुपूर्त केला. त्यावेळच्या आई-दादांच्या ओलावलेल्या पापण्या आज त्यांना अखंड सोन्याने मढविले तरी आम्ही विसरु शकणार नाही.

त्या कठीण काळात कांदिवली येथील शेजा-यांची मदत व तुम्हां सर्व नातेवाईकांची सोबत फार मोलाची होती. अनेक मदतींच्या हातांपैकी प्रकर्षाने व नेहमीच हक्काचे हात पुढे आले, ते होते, चेंबुरच्या बाबाकाका-काकूचे (हो चेंबुरच्याच !!), लिलाआत्या-चंदुकाका व मामा-मामी ह्यांचे. 

असो !! ते दिवसही सरले. एकेकाळी मुंबईत स्वत:ची १ स्क्वेअर फुट जागा नसताना, आज आई-दादा स्वत:च्या हक्काच्या घरात मुलां-नातवंडासोबत समाधानाने आयुष्य उपभोगत आहेत. आई-दादांनी आमच्या लग्नानंतर त्यांच्या नातवंडांवरही तितकेच, किंबहुना त्याहून अधिकच प्रेम केले व त्यांना मोठे केले. त्यामुळेच आम्ही आमच्या नोकरीत लक्ष केंद्रीत करु शकलो.

लग्न-लग्न म्हणजे तरी काय हो? ज्याप्रमाणे नदी सागराला मिळताना स्वत:चे अस्तित्व विसरुन सागरात सामावून जाते, त्याप्रमाणे पती-पत्नींनी स्वत:चं अस्तित्व विसरुन संसाररुपी सागरात सामावून जाणे. आमच्या आई-दादांनीही स्वत:चे अस्तित्व, आवडी-निवडी विसरुन ब-याच तडजोडी केल्या. सर्व नातेवाईकांशी, सग्यासोय-यांशी संबंध ठेवणे व घर चालवणे ही जबाबदारी आईने सांभाळली, तर दादांनी अहोरात्र कष्ट करुन संसाराला मिळविता हात दिला. दादांचा धाक आणि शिस्त व आईचे प्रेम आणि कष्ट ह्याचे फळ आम्हाला मिळत आहे.

तरी, त्यांच्या ह्या लग्नाच्या सुवर्णमहोत्सवी दिनी त्यांना दीर्घ आयुरारोग्य लाभो ही ईश्वरचरणी  प्रार्थना !!!!

The Board-room's wish...

Hi there ! You obviously know me but have never heard me. I am the board room of your office. Yes ! The board room of your office, where your joining interview was held, your appraisals were discussed, your promotions were agreed and these days you occupy the interviewer's chair here, you hold group meetings and client meetings here many of which are also lead by you. I am so proud of your growth.

I know you find it unbelievable that I can speak but probably it is the need of the hour that makes me speak. When I overheard someone whispering in the corridors about your plan of quitting I was in tears and so I decided to break my silence.

I remember the day when you first walked into this room with your CV in hand. How nervous were you on that day? You were barely able to face the interviewer on that day and now I see you leading client or group meetings so authoritatively in this room that I feel immensely proud of your feat. 

And now I hear about this news !

Of course, it's your career and its your decision and me or for that matter anyone in this Firm may not be able to force you change your decision. But before you go ahead and implement your decision I thought I must speak to you in private and hence this monologue.

My friend, I have seen shaping of careers in this Firm of many of your today's Leaders, right from the day when they were still trainees. It's quite common for all successful professionals to get offers and opportunities. It will be a matter of shame for a professional if he does not have an offer in hand every single day of his career. However, does it mean that one needs to pick up every such offer that comes by?

I have witnessed young professionals like you getting upset or anxious on the timing of their own promotions or in many cases due to promotion or hiring of others and in almost all cases that is the prime reason of trying something outside.

First, as a rule never compare your position or promotion with others whether within the Firm or outside. I know it sounds too idealistic but if you pause a moment and look in the past you will find that our systems are so robust that it auto-corrects any such so called judgmental errors. You ought not to claim your promotion based on the judgemental error, if any, in someone else's case.

As a growing Firm, the recruitment is a continuous process for us and just because we have lateral hires joining us every week, we cannot calibrate our internal designations every week. Our annual appraisal cycle is meant to take care of any abnormalities in positioning due to lateral hiring and we do it consciously every year. You will agree that we cannot time external hiring with our internal promotion cycle nor lose external talent in fear of these abnormalities when we can and we do correct it periodically.

Second, the field that we are in, which is a pure knowledge field, people are known for their expertise and not for their designations. Of course we operate on a designation structure; but to my mind it is only to cater to people's ego who bother about it too much. For a true professional, it hardly matters in what capacity he serves the client so long as the client reposes the trust and faith in him for his advice.

In your professional career which may span for another 20-25 years, it hardly matters as to which year you occupied what designation. Once you learn to dissociate yourself from the ego of designations life will be much simpler and stress free for you.

The only reasons of possible change of job could be that the next job offers you something which this place will never be able to offer you. For example, change of career path from consulting to industry or own business or practice. The other reason could be that there is lack of faith in your abilities in the present place. Money, to my mind, should never be the decision making factor as the space in which we operate always has an equalizing effect over a period of time as far as money goes.

I don't think you have convincing answers to any of the questions raised above to justify your decision. Just think it over. All that you may get at the other place is available or can be made available just by asking. This Firm wants you to come forward and take those additional responsibilities.

Now about the new place. It is only human to get attracted towards the unseen, the unchartered. There is always fancy for the new. That is natural. But ask yourself a question - if we are uncomfortable with the lateral hires in our Firm, will the people in the new place be comfortable with you joining as a lateral hire. Will the equalization theory that I talked about earlier not applied on you? Have people not moved out of that place ever? Is whatever you are going for impossible to get here?

It is always a matter of pride to sit in a top chair where you grew from the ranks. It may hurt you when you will hear someone say that you left this place because you could not get that position here. Don't go with this blot. You have spent a number of years here and you are just at a curve in your career where unfortunately you cannot see up the curve but I can. Believe me, this is the last curve and up the curve there is all that you aspired for. Be patient and take this curve confidently and all is yours. By giving up at this stage neither you nor this Firm will benefit.

Lastly, if you peek into our epic - The  Ramayana - Seeta invited agony to herself and others around her by chasing the golden deer which never existed. Please remember, the golden deer never existed then, nor does it exist now. It does not exist even at the place that is luring you. If it did, as a Firm we would not have been at the top of our  profession for several years. It's your imagination and fancy of your mind which is at present being manipulated by the golden deer. The happiness outside is imaginary. You are wise enough to think for yourself.

I know many seniors have talked to you about  your decision but you are in no frame of mind to appreciate it. For this, you might remember as a child when you used to go to garden and while you had all the branded toys at your disposal, you wanted that balloon from the balloon-vendor at the garden. When your mom refused to buy one, you hated your mom. If it was not for the strict vigil of your mom, I am sure you would have done anything at the command of that balloon-vendor to get that balloon which you fancied at that moment. But you are better off today by not going after than balloon vendor.

My humble request to you is please don't fall prey to that balloon-vendor even now. Your mom (this Firm) loves you the most. She has brought you up to the level that you are, so much so, that because of which that balloon- vendor is eying to entice you. This is your home. Everything that you want is here and can be made available. I have seen you grow from an interviewee in this Firm to the level where you are. I want to witness hearing your announcement at that top post you aspired all these years and see you chairing meetings here as the boss. Please give me my wish.

All the best, my dear friend !

अब्राहम लिंकनचे हेडमास्तरांस पत्र

प्रिय गुरूजी,

सगळीच माणसे न्यायप्रिय नसतात; नसतात सगळीच सत्यनिष्ठ
हे शिकेलच माझा मुलगा कधी ना कधी
मात्र त्याला हे देखील शिकवा -
जगात प्रत्येक बदमाशागणिक , असतो एक साधुचरित पुरूषोत्तमही.
स्वार्थी राजकारणी असतात जगात ,
तसे असतात अवघं आयष्य समर्पित करणारे नेतेही.
असतात टपलेले वैरी तसे जपणारे मित्रही.

मला माहीत आहे;
सगळ्या गोष्टी झटपट नाही शिकवता येत…
तरीही जमलं तर त्याच्या मनावर ठसवा ,
घाम गाळून कमावलेला एकच छदाम
आयत्या मिळालेल्या घबाडापेक्षा मौल्यवान आहे.

हार कशी स्वीकारावी ते त्याला शिकवा
आणि शिकवा विजयाचा आनंद संयमाने घ्यायला
तुमच्यात शक्ती असली तर
त्याला द्वेषमत्सरापासून दूर रहायला शिकवा
शिकवा त्याला आपला हर्ष संयमानं व्यक्त करायला
गुंडांना भीत जाऊ नको म्हणावं,
त्यांना नमवणं सर्वात सोपं असतं !

जमेल तेवढं दाखवीत चला त्याला ग्रंथभांडाराचं अदभुत वैभव
मात्र त्याबरोबरच मिळू दे त्याच्या मनाला निवांतपणा
सॄष्टीचं शाश्वत सौंदर्य अनुभवायला
पाहू दे त्याला पक्ष्याची अस्मानभरारी…..
सोनेरी उन्हात भिरभिरणारे भ्रमर…
आणि हिरव्यागार डोंगर उतारावर
डुलणारी चिमुकली फुलं

शाळेत त्याला हा धडा मिळू दे -
फसवून मिळालेल्या यशापेक्षा सरळ आलेलं अपयश श्रेयस्कर आहे.

आपल्या कल्पना, आपले विचार
यांच्यावर दॄढ विश्वास ठेवायला हवा त्यानं
बेहेत्तर आहे सर्वांनी त्याला चूक ठरवलं तरी
त्याला सांगा
त्यानं भल्यांशी भलाईनं वागावं
आणि टग्यांना अद्द्ल घडवावी.

माझ्या मुलाला हे पटवता आलं तर पहा -
जिकडे सरशी तिकडे धावत सुटणा-या भाऊगर्दीत
सामील न होण्याची ताकद त्यानं कमवायला हवी.
पुढे हे ही सांगा त्याला
ऎकावं जनांचं , अगदी सर्वांचं….
पण गाळून घ्यावं ते सत्याच्या चाळणीतून ,
आणि फोलपटं टाकून
निकष सत्व तेवढं स्वीकारावं.
जमलं तर त्याच्य मनावर बिंबवा -
हसत राहावं उरातलं दुःख दाबून
पण म्हणावं त्याला
आसू ढाळायची लाज वाटू देऊ नकोस.
त्याला शिकवा..
तुच्छवाद्यांना तुच्छ मानायला
अन चाटुगिरीपासून सावध रहायला.

त्याला हे पुरेपुर समजावा की
करावी कमाल कमाई त्याने
ताकद आणि अक्कल विकून….
पण कधीही विक्रय करू नये
हॄदयाचा आणि आत्म्याचा !

धिक्कार करणा-यांच्या झुंडी आल्या तर
काणाडोळा करायला शिकवा त्याला, आणि ठसवा त्याच्या मनावर
जे सत्य आणि न्याय्य वाटते
त्याच्यासाठी पाय रोवून लढत रहा.

त्याला ममतेने वागवा पण
लाडावून ठेवू नका.
आगीत तावून सुलाखून निघाल्याशिवाय
लोखंडाचं कणखर पोलाद होत नसतं.
त्याच्या अंगी बाणवा अधीर व्हायचं धैर्य
पण धरला पाहीजे धीर त्यानं
जर गाजवायचं असेल शौर्य.
आणखीही एक सांगत रहा त्याला -
आपला दॄढ विश्वास पाहीजे आपल्यावर
तरच जडेल उदात्त श्रध्दा मानवजातीवर.

माफ करा गुरुजी ! मी फार बोलतो आहे
खूप काही मागतो आहे….
पण पहा…… जमेल तेवढं अवश्य कराचं.

माझा मुलगा -
भलताच गॊड छोकरा आहे हो तो.

….अब्राहम लिंकन
रूपांतर – वसंत बापट

Irony of Life

Irony of Life

On this beautiful Sunday morning, with the hope that the monsoon is just at our doorsteps, I drove off to the nearby nursery to buy some indoor plants. “Sir, this one will grow well even in your air conditioned living room”, said the vendor. After getting a few tips about planting and watering the plants I put the plants that I had bought in the rear seat of my car and headed back home.

As I looked at the plants that I had just purchased from the rear-view mirror of my car, a thought flashed my mind that how lucky these plants are. They are getting a ride in a (reasonably) posh car that I drive. Now they will reach home and get planted in one of the pots in my living room or bedroom and enjoy the air conditioned environment throughout their life. Everyone at home would want to take care of them, water them, caress them and take pride in they being in our house.

I thought to myself that the trees and plants that make our living possible by giving us food and clean oxygenated air have to stand in the open, bearing the brunt of scorching heat of the sun and weather the storm and the rains. No one perhaps even acknowledge their existence. The trees that give us the wood for our shelter are even worse-hit as they give away their life to build our air-conditioned houses without even getting any recognition or reward for it.
If we look back in the real life such instances are many. The ox that ploughs the field to grow the crop or carry the grain to the farmer’s warehouse or the marketplace bears the hunter on his back and the pussy cat or a pedigree dog rests in our couch. Who contributes more to our life, the ox or the cat and the dog on our couch? Did we ever say thanks to that bull that does so much for us?

Ever remember haggling for 2 rupees with the vegetable vendor around the corner of the street who sweats out for the whole day to make his livelihood and even may have cultivated the vegetable that he sells in his own farm. Did you ever even think of bargaining when you buy the same vegetable in the posh super-market?

Ever wondered while ordering the pizza that the farmer who grew the wheat for this pizza may be starving while the big pizza brands make hay.

Perhaps this is called the irony of life. In Marathi there is a saying – “Jaya Angi Mothepan Taya Yatana Kathin”. Pardon my translation abilities but in English probably it would mean, the one with great virtues has to suffer a lot. That seems to be the rule of the nature.

While we may not be able to change it and it may be part of each one’s destiny to play the role given to it by the God when sent on the earth, the least that we can do is to be mindful and grateful for their contribution to our lives.

So next time when I would buy an indoor plant I would thank the rice-crop, the wheat-crop, the mango tree, the banana plant, the banyan tree, the ox, the farmer and all those who make my living on this earth possible and pleasurable.

King's Language

All of us would have read lots of stories in our childhood, of the famous emperor, Akbar and his wise minister Birbal. To be honest even now we cannot (at least I cannot) resist reading through Akbar-Birbal story the moment we come across one. However, you bet the story that I am going to narrate here may not have been read or heard by anyone of you till now.

It so happened that on one fine morning Akbar got up from his bed and almost ran to the palace of his queen to let her know the dream he just woke up from. In the dream he saw a holy saint who sang the praises of Akbar’s mother-tongue and asked him what he did as a king to express the love towards the language he spoke. Akbar really felt guilty after realizing that he had done nothing to show affection towards his beloved language. For the moody king that he was, at that very moment Akbar proclaimed that each and every citizen of his kingdom should speak only the King's language, no matter where he or she hailed from. And there was severe punishment for those who did not follow the King's order.

Obviously those who could not speak Akbar’s language were horrified with this new ordinance and as in any other story, as a last resort they approached Birbal for a remedy. Birbal merrily accepted the challenge.

The following Sunday Birbal insisted that he accompanied the King when the King was out for hunting in the nearby jungle. As the King was busy hunting, Birbal talks to the King, “Sir, all these animals in this jungle except the lion – the king, have no right to live here.” “But why Birbal?”, the king astonishingly asks. Birbal adds, “My Lord, the monkey, the elephant, the deer, the fox, the wolf, no one roars like the lion, their own king. They don’t speak their king’s language it seems.”

Now, Akbar thoroughly puzzled at Birbal’s answer turns to him and asks, “Birbal are you mad. How can all the animals speak the lion’s language? God has given each one of them their own language and its stupid on your part to expect everyone to roar the way lion does or speak his language, even though he is their king.”

It was now Birbal’s turn. He gives an innocent look at the King and continues, “Sir, these animals do not know the simple rule of the kingdom that no matter what their original language is still they should speak only the king’s language. And since these animals do not know this simple rule, they deserve to be kicked out of this jungle.”

The King was wise enough to read between Birbal’s lines and to catch the hint that Birbal was aiming at. He immediately abandons his hunting trip and heads back to the kingdom to announce withdrawal of his language-ordinance, apologize to his fellow citizens and also to give a pat on Birbal’s back for once again proving his worth in the entire council of ministers.

Vishal Heart

I have lately developed a habit - I don’t know good or bad or is it because of the profession in which I am – that in everything I try to look for a take away. Only for this habit these days my son warns me on my offer to him for a movie that it would alright for him if I don’t buy him a coke and popcorn in the interval but if at the end of the movie I am going to discuss the take away from the movie he would rather chose other options of entertainment than accompanying me for the movie.

Be it as it may, the purpose of this article is to try and find out the take away of the bubbly dinner and cocktail party that I attended last Friday. It was a usual business-season-end celebration party and the average age of the party folks was between 25 and 30 years. Perhaps my presence in the party was instrumental in pushing the average-age number northwards.

The rise in the spirit at the party was directly proportional to the speed at which the stock of the spirit at the bar-tender’s table was diminishing. And quite common to any such youth parties there was a guy who got on to his ‘high’ quite early in the party, let’s call him Mr Hi.

Now comes the take away part.....

I was observing from a distance that there were clearly three classes of people in that evening’s party and once you read down further, probably you would tend to think that these three classes of people can be found in variety of situations in society.

One class of party-men belonged to those who were enjoying the party themselves, indifferent to the literal rise and fall of Mr Hi – let’s call them the neutral class, where probably majority of society members are covered under. The other class belonged to those who keeping their own spirits in control were inspiring Mr Hi to drink more and provide more fun to the party – let’s call them the fun class. The line of control between “fun” and “fun @ the cost of someone” was getting blurred when the fun class started finding rather uncommon means of enjoyment with Mr Hi at the centre of the dance floor. Exactly at that time I found the other and very thinly populated class of people - represented in that party by a single individual but with a big or ‘vishal’ heart. This representative was albeit part of the fun class initially but the moment he realized possibility of crossing the line of control between “fun” and “fun @ the cost of someone”, he distanced himself from the fun class to create his own class. With each passing moment, this man with a big heart was getting upset at the fun class for the fun that was being extracted at the cost of Mr Hi. And soon he could not resist himself to walk straight in the middle of the dance floor to help Mr Hi get out of the mess he had ‘unconsciously’ created for himself. I am sure there were many others in the party who wanted to help Mr Hi but just let that feeling or instinct go by or chose to turn a blind’s eye – a simpler approach. In fact some of the party folks reached out this gentleman to teach him to be indifferent and dissuaded him from ‘interfering’ in others’ affairs probably because it did not affect any of them.

What happened subsequently was not very relevant. For me the take away was to introspect into which class I belonged to that evening. And frankly with great hesitation (or confession) the answer came from within - the neutral class! This was just a representative situation of many other we come across in every walk of our life. We do not subscribe to many things from within but just let them go by. Many of us tend to take a short cut of letting go by things around us. We forget that what differentiates the mankind from rest of the living beings is the “sensitivity” about others and more so about the fellow human beings. We tend to follow a simple philosophy that let the messiah to save the society be born –not to us but to the neighbour.

Can you answer for yourself which class would you have belonged to that evening? Do we all have courage to change over from the neutral or the fun class if our conscience wants us to or do we suppress our instincts and follow the majority of the neutral or the fun class? I would want to ponder over this.....